tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-315226962024-03-13T06:29:50.277-07:00Story TimeA place where I can share, or kvetch about my writing. The muse is sometimes with me, sometimes not. Most often, my virtual pen is kept busy with new ideas, new stories.Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-4403583963965697982015-04-09T00:32:00.001-07:002015-04-09T00:32:58.230-07:00Gofundme<p dir="ltr">I just found out that some of my friends decided to bypass the Gofundme website and send donations directly to my post office box, thus saving me the 8% in fees that they would take. I hadn't even thought of that. What great friends I have. Thanks!</p>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-70209197010147448272014-08-30T14:20:00.003-07:002014-08-30T14:20:47.674-07:00Chrysalis, A Short Story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Chrysalis-Short-Story-Journey-Independence-ebook/dp/B00N4GL48Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1409431883&sr=1-1&keywords=chrysalis,+a+short+story" target="_blank">Chrysalis, A Short Story</a></b></h2>
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<img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DHmyITdmPXI/VAI_D6lXRpI/AAAAAAAAA2c/62OQMezRK5g/s1600/chrysalis%2Bcover.jpg" height="400" width="251" /> </div>
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Starting young adulthood in a wheelchair with Muscular Dystrophy can be
challenging, but Linda Martinson loves the challenge and finds sometimes
risky, even dangerous ways to relieve the boredom of her life.<br />
<br />
About 25 pages. Click <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Chrysalis-Short-Story-Journey-Independence-ebook/dp/B00N4GL48Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1409431883&sr=1-1&keywords=chrysalis,+a+short+story" target="_blank">here</a>. Enjoy. <br />
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Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-31395013410195287882014-07-10T21:59:00.002-07:002014-07-10T21:59:34.774-07:00How to Write a Script Treatment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />If You Need to Write a Treatment, Use This Guide to Write One that Will Get You that Assignment!<br /><br /><b>Before The Script</b><br /><br />For many writers, the desire to write the Great American Novel has been replaced by the desire to write the Great Hollywood Screenplay. Writing for the movies is already the subject of dozens, if not hundreds of books. You can search amazon.com for Linda Seger, William C. Martell, John Truby and scores of others whose books will take you from premise to finished script.<br /><br />What many of them don't cover though, and something many new writers ask quite often, is how to write a treatment. Though the likelihood that you'd ever have to write one is rare, it does occasionally come up. Some years ago, I was a Hollywood Script Consultant. At times, writers asked if they could send me a treatment for evaluation of concept and structure. At other times, they were asked for a treatment from a producer, and were clueless as to how to proceed. They wanted to know if they had a story, characters, structure, etc. before they committed weeks/months and 120 pages to it. And I can tell a lot from a good treatment.<br /><br /><b>How You Can Write A Great Treatment</b><br /><br />All the treatments I read are done the same way. Present tense; tell the story in a narrative with little or no dialogue. The number of pages varies so greatly that I couldn't offer a ballpark figure there.<br /><br />The best treatments are those in which you eschew dry "this happens then that happens" and instead demonstrate your talent for weaving a good tale, still making it an enjoyable read. You tell a story that someone will enjoy reading, it's as simple as that. Make sure the basic ingredients are there, meaning the main and important secondary characters, the major beats of the story (structure is usually evident in them) and the major obstacles, reversals, barriers that affect those beats. Act Three and the climax have to be included. This is an account of what's involved in the story so it all has to be there.<br /><br />It should also reflect the personalities of the characters, what they want and what they need. And it should show us your unique style, as well as can be done in the form of a treatment. Don't get fancy. You aren't writing a short story that needs to stand alone. Try to find a balance that works for the treatment form in the genre your script will be.<br /><br />It needs to be free of typos and misspellings, and the grammar should be correct. Watch your punctuation. The usual things. You're judged on everything you submit, including presentation of the materials in a professional manner.<br /><br />So, if you can do that in three pages, that's fine. If you need thirty pages, that's fine, too. On the other hand, if a producer asks for a treatment in five pages, do it in five. As I said, this is rare. They'd rather see if you can write the script itself and a treatment won't tell them that, but if they ask for a treatment, you can deliver it if you follow these guidelines and whatever the producer particularly requests.<br /><br />And take the time to rewrite it, just as you do your screenplay, until it shines. It has to be a good read. Do whatever you have to do to make it just as much a page turner as your script will be. If a producer has asked for the treatment and it's a good read with all the right story elements, it could lead to an assignment and that Great Hollywood Screenplay might soon be a box office hit!</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-20542912174673650672014-07-08T01:07:00.000-07:002014-07-08T01:08:12.559-07:00Too Young To Die At 98<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N-I2KWYJ3Jo/U7ujHavbaPI/AAAAAAAAA1o/mjXOSGPi71s/s1600/fae.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N-I2KWYJ3Jo/U7ujHavbaPI/AAAAAAAAA1o/mjXOSGPi71s/s1600/fae.jpg" height="400" width="267" /></a></div>
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<i>I originally wrote this in 2007. Fae McCoy. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I miss her still. Here she is in her early 90s.</i></div>
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On April 22, 2007,
I received a phone call telling me that my dear friend, Fae McCoy had
died. It was quite sudden. She just dropped to the floor and was gone.
I'm in shock and feeling her loss so deeply.<br />
<br />
I met Fae in 1989 when I
moved into a small apartment building in Burbank CA. She lived directly
across the yard from me. She came right over and introduced herself. At
80 years young, she was still walking, running, practically skipping
across the courtyard to my front porch that day. I remember her tiny
figure, her silvery hair pulled back in a wonderfully messy bun and the
permanent sparkle in her clear blue eyes. And that smile - it could
light the darkest night.<br />
<br />
We soon became good friends. There was
one large tree in the center of the courtyard and it offered cool shade on those hot summer days. We used to sit under it most afternoons and talk for hours. I found her to be incredibly
intelligent and articulate. And funny. Her take on whichever politicians
were occupying the White House at the time always had me chuckling. And
her religious and philosophical beliefs leaned more to the metaphysical
than traditional, which I admired incredibly. She was different and I
loved that about her.<br />
<br />
When I moved away in 2002, we still
kept in touch. She never got a computer (it took me a decade to
convince her to get cable tv) so I printed letters in large print
(although her body stayed strong, her eyesight was failing - her only
complaint about getting old) and sent actual photos of our new house,
our new dogs, etc. Then I'd call her and we'd talk about them and about
her.<br />
<br />
She'd go on and on about her visits to the senior center
(she didn't really like it there - too many old people), which neighbors
still lived in the building, and her trips to the grocery store every
week. She still did her own shopping and loved to share recipes for
healthy organic meals with me. In fact, all our conversations eventually
turned to food. She always wanted to try something new but was nervous
about strange foods. I'd tell her what I had found or tried or
discovered and she'd put some of those things in her grocery cart the
following week. I took her to her first sushi restaurant. She even used
the chopsticks that day. Her first California Roll and she quite liked
it.<br />
<br />
She read my first novel and loved it. She was as proud of me
as a parent would be, though we weren't related by blood. We were
related by our love for one another. I think she thought of me as one of
her daughters sometimes (there were 30 years between us) and I was honored by that love and acceptance from her.<br />
<br />
I called her every three to
four weeks. My last call was just a month before she passed. We were joking about
planning her 100th birthday party the following year. I can hardly believe she's
gone.<br />
<br />
On each August 13th, I celebrate for her. I know she'll
be somewhere watching and smiling. Her smile lit up so many lives while
she was here. She had been a teacher, a wife, a mother, a grandmother
and great grandmother. And she had been one of my dearest friends. She
was a great lady and will be sorely missed.</div>
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</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-46899072988760396332014-07-06T16:28:00.001-07:002014-07-06T16:28:36.892-07:00Tempus Fugit, Carpe Diem. WTF are you waiting for?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<h1>
Why We Need to Seize the Day!</h1>
<h2>
We Think We Have All the Time in the World to Do All the Things We'd Like... <span style="color: red;">But We Don't</span></h2>
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<a class="user_icon" data-rapid_p="1" href="http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/70112/lou_grantt.html"></a></div>
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<b>Realization</b><br />
More than half my life is gone and I haven't done half the things I
wanted to do. I'll be sixty-seven years old in the summer of 2014. Sixty-seven. I
can hardly believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was a dewy-eyed
twenty year old with my whole life ahead of me. Where have the last
forty-plus years gone? If I made a list of the things I've done, it would
seem like a lot: marriage, divorce, travel, college, etc. But it wasn't
much at all. I got stuck in a rut. I worked very hard at my job but went
nowhere. I thought I had all the time in the world.<br />
<br />
<b>Playing Catch-Up</b><br />
My head is spinning with all the things I'm trying to accomplish now.
I'm writing books and self-publishing because I don't want to do the
agent/rejection/wait/wait/wait dance. Four books already written and
more on the way.<br />
<br />
I was learning Spanish on my computer from a CD
course I bought years ago and never started until recently. Hola. Como estas?
Estoy bien. Adios. It's challenging but I'm determined. I live in
southern California. The Spanish speaking population is growing.<br />
<br />
I was learning oil painting. Which colors to mix for a stormy sky. Which
brushes to use for each different effect. Should I try to do realistic
paintings, impressionistic or abstract? Actually, my early attempts
might turn out to be abstracts. It's all art, right?<br />
<br />
We also
bought a little piece of land in the desert and built a house on it.
We've lived here for a eight years now, but the work is far from done.<br />
<br />
There's more, but this gives you some idea of how I'm desperately trying to cram a lot of living into so little time.<br />
<br />
<b>Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda</b><br />
I often ask myself why I wasted so many years doing nothing. I suppose
it's a moot point. I did it, it's done, and now I'm trying to make up
for it.<br />
<br />
I look around me, to the young people who are working in
my town. One young woman, a sweet girl, is so busy with manicures,
pedicures and cutting hair that she hasn't even read a book since high
school. Her free time is devoted to her boyfriend. I remember it well. I
was the same. But will she look back, forty years from now, and wish
she had done more? Experienced more? Learned more?<br />
<br />
My nieces and
nephews, their lives so filled with school and work and young
adulthood; I hope they'll take the time to do the things they dream of
and wish for. I hope they don't wait until their hair is turning gray
and their faces are lined with the evidence of too many years gone by.<br />
<br />
Our time on this planet if finite. Limited by frail bodies that age
badly, even painfully, we're destined to spend our later years doing so
much less than we'd like. We start life with hopes and plans and the
mistaken notion that we have plenty of time to accomplish everything on
our lists. Sadly, some of us pass from this mortal plane before seeing
the first gray hair on our heads. Tragically, some leave us before they
even have the opportunity to make a list of things to do.<br />
<br />
<b>Do It Now</b><br />
Start today. Make that list and start to work on it. If you put it
away, it won't get done. Do you want to learn a language? Travel to a
distant land? Learn a new skill? Whatever you dream can come true if you
start on it while you're still young. Partying with friends still has a
place in each life, but shouldn't loom so large that it leaves no time
for other things.<br />
<br />
Don't find yourself at fifty or sixty or
seventy looking back like I am now. Wishing you'd done it sooner, so
that you could enjoy other things in these years. Other happy things.
There's so much I still want to do. And tomorrow, something new might
present itself. How will I fit it in? How will I manage? I have so
little time left.<br />
<br />
Again I say, our time here is finite. It is
limited. When you pass on from here, will you ask yourself the
questions? Why didn't I learn to play the piano? Why didn't I spend more
time with my loved ones? Why didn't I...? You needn't ask those
questions if you start now to do those things. Start now.<br />
<br />
Find the time.
And good luck to you.</div>
</div>
</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-27601123181426595822014-05-27T14:55:00.001-07:002014-05-27T14:55:23.580-07:00The plan<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I might be crazy, but I'm not running off to a doctor in a panic and going through what I went through last time. Two years ago, I went through more stress with waiting for insurance approvals and waiting for test results and trying to get appointments with doctors, etc. etc., more stress with that than with knowing that I have cancer. From my preliminary diagnosis in the beginning of February, it took six months before I could get in to have the lumpectomy.<br />
<br />
Bob would like me to see a doctor but I have asked him to agree to wait with me. I'm going to try some natural things like adjusting my diet and nutrition, meditating, medical cannabis, and a few other things. If I don't see any results at all. By the end of August, then I will see a doctor. Honestly, going through all of that hassle again is worse for me than knowing I have cancer.<br />
<br />
So, my dears, whether you can send healing vibes or, if you are so disposed to believe in a deity, even your prayers would be appreciated. And if you know of anything else I can try that doesn't involve "traditional medicine" let me know. In the meantime, I have some things to take care of as they say, we must get our affairs in order. And I've got a book to finish writing. So onward and upward, right?</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-24485943149865439032014-05-22T14:03:00.000-07:002014-05-27T14:55:46.941-07:00Old Lady Syndrome<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'll be 67 this summer. That's approximately 50 years longer than doctors said I would live when I was first diagnosed with Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy. But what do they know, right?<br />
<br />
I can't attribute my longevity to anything more than luck. I certainly haven't been very careful with diet, and exercise is impossible. I can barely move anything but my mouth, and I can't fast-talk my way to good health.<br />
<br />
So I know that I have lived much longer than I will live in future. My time is limited. Will I change anything? Do anything differently? Eat better? Meditate? Or continue as I have?<br />
<br />
We found another lump. Same breast. Are we having fun yet?</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-5804894195665469742014-05-22T01:16:00.001-07:002014-05-22T01:16:18.231-07:00Long time no see...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a very long time, and I may have news soon. Stay tuned.</div>
Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-10911260787321821582012-07-20T16:06:00.001-07:002012-07-20T16:06:33.724-07:00Date for surgery<div><p>Finally, after 6 months, I have been scheduled for the surgery to remove this damn tumor from my breast. Thursday, August 2nd. I'll need an EKG, and a few other things but I can finally get this show on the road. I know there will be other things to do after that but I can handle anything they throw at me.</p>
</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-74820328396809720192012-07-04T00:22:00.000-07:002012-07-04T00:22:05.122-07:00Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: red;">Happy <span style="color: blue;">4th</span> to <span style="color: blue;">you</span> all</span>. We're bypassing fireworks and parade this year. No reason- just want to sleep late.<br />
<br />
I finished the Abe Lincoln book. It was quite good. (I hear the movie is a disappointment though.) Fascinating how the author wove actual history with fictional vampires. I finished it in two days.<br />
<br />
My next doctor visit is Tuesday, the 10th. Final consult before surgery. I hope. It's hard to believe this whole process has taken so long.<br />
<br />
Typing is difficult and I'm too lazy to click to open my dictation software. Awful, aren't I? ttfn.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-45596668092494264192012-06-17T15:26:00.001-07:002012-06-17T15:26:34.564-07:00Reading<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
While (still) waiting for a date for the surgery, I'm catching up on my reading. I'm really enjoying Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter. I'm about a third of the way through it. Will post a review when I'm done.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-37282921461546310102012-05-30T13:18:00.000-07:002012-05-30T13:18:19.070-07:00PET/CT Scan results<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We drove out to Yucca Valley yesterday to meet with the oncologist. It was a good news/bad news kind of thing. The Reader's Digest version is that the breast cancer has not metastasized. But, oh joy, they found out that I have a marble sized stone in my right kidney and that there's some kind of growth on my thyroid which may or may not be cancerous. For those who might be interested in the details, or who have never seen printed results of a PET/CT scan, here you go:<br />
<br />
EXAMINATION: PET/CT imaging skull base to mid thigh.<br /><br />INDICATION: 64-year-old female with newly diagnosed left breast cancer.<br /><br />PET/CT REQUESTED FOR: initial treatment strategy and detection of possible metastatic disease.<br /><br />CORRELATIVE STUDIES: mammogram Feb 1, 2012. Demonstrates a 3 cm mass in the left upper outer quadrant.<br /><br />TECHNIQUE: following the intravenous injection of 13.8 mCi 18 – fluoro – 2 – deoxyglucose (FDG) and a 70 min. delay to allow for uptake of the tracer, images were obtained from the skull base to the midthigh on the GE Discovery LS Fusion PET/CT scanner, along with 3-D reconstruction. Oral contrast was administered and CT scanning was performed through the same area for the purpose of attenuation correction utilizing a GE Lightspeed Multi-detector scanner. Blood glucose at the time of injection was 88 MG/DL. The SUV – max of the liver is 2.7.<br /><br />FINDINGS: there is normal physiologic uptake of the FDG radio tracer identified within the tonsils, salivary glands, liver, spleen, myocardium, genitourinary and gastrointestinal tracts.<br /><br />HEAD/NECK: there is a 1.5 cm focus of mild hypermetabolic activity in the right lobe of the thyroid gland, SUV 6. There is no hypermetabolic lymphadenopathy in the neck.<br /><br />CHEST: there is a 2.5 cm hypermetabolic mass in the lateral aspect of the left breast extending to the skin, SUV 11.3. Bilateral apical fibrosis is present. There are no pulmonary nodules. There is no hypermetabolic axillary, mediastinal, or hilar lymphadenopathy.<br /><br />ABDOMEN/PELVIS: Cholelithiasis is present. The right kidney contains a 1.7 cm parapelvic cyst. PET and CT images of the left kidney, liver, spleen, adrenal glands, and pancreas are grossly normal. There is no hypermetabolic lymphadenopathy or ascites in the abdomen and pelvis.<br /><br />SKELETON: there are no areas of abnormal hypermetabolic activity in the skeleton suggestive of neoplasia.<br /><br />IMPRESSION:<br /><br /> 1. The hypermetabolic left breast mass is consistent with neoplasm.<br /> 2. The hypermetabolic focus in the thyroid gland may be an adenoma or carcinoma.<br /> 3. Cholelithiasis.<br />
<br />If you've made it this far, I congratulate you on slogging through all the multisyllabic words that they include. I do find it all rather fascinating, though, don't you?<br />
<br />
The future looks like this: first, I need to get a needle biopsy on the thyroid. I'm hoping that it's benign. If it's not, then I need to find out what my options are for that. I'll also have to schedule with the surgeon to get a lumpectomy done and have the tumor in the breast removed.<br />
<br />
Are we having fun yet?</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-35948398086079768852012-05-20T14:15:00.001-07:002012-05-20T14:15:01.260-07:00Next Oncologist Appointment<div><p>Not until Tuesday, the 29th. Till then, I worry about family members who suddenly might be worse off than I am.</p>
</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-57124451951509652092012-05-10T13:32:00.000-07:002012-05-10T13:32:44.036-07:00What is a PET scan?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Positron Emission Tomography. No, I don't know what any of that means either. But here's what it involves, step by step.<br />
<br />
I arrived at 10 min. to 1 and only had to wait a few minutes before they called my name. Bob and Angie had gone with me and were allowed to come in with me through the whole process. First we went into a very tiny little room with one of the employees there. She turned on a space heater near my feet and told me that it was very important for me to be warm. I don't really know why.<br />
<br />
She also gave me a tall glass of something red to drink. It tasted like a cross between Hi-C fruit punch and Kool-Aid with a definite undertone of something bitter and medicinal. I had to drink the whole thing. She asked a lot of the usual questions about allergies and previous illnesses and surgeries, and filled out a lot of paperwork for me.<br />
<br />
When that was done, a very pleasant young man named Willie came in and lead us to the actual room. My first view of the device was that it was impressively large and it looked like an elongated doughnut. There was a cylindrical opening through the center area and on the other side was a bed, very narrow with uplifted sides, I suppose to hold a body in place, and supports for the head and shoulders so that nothing moves.<br />
<br />
Again, I was given something to drink. It was vile! But like a good little girl, I drank the whole thing. He explained that it was necessary to expand the bladder so that they could get a good look at it inside of me. I'm not sure why I couldn't have just drank some water for that.<br />
<br />
Oh, I nearly forgot. Between the first room, where I filled out the paperwork and the third room where the actual scan was done, I was put into another small room where Willie injected a glucose solution into my vein, and I had to sit quietly for about 30 to 45 min. waiting for it to be absorbed into my body. The glucose molecules adhere to certain cells in the body and most especially to cancer cells. I had been instructed that the day before my scan I was to only eat high-protein meals, meaning only meat, fish, eggs, cheese, and dark green vegetables. No sugars or carbs at all.<br />
<br />
Which I did. And didn't. The morning of the scan, I was told not to eat anything for six hours before the scan, which meant that I didn't eat anything at all that day, so when I went in there, his little glucose molecules were the only ones in my body and were easily able to attach themselves to the areas that they needed to.<br />
<br />
After strapping me down to the bed. He left the room to work the controls and allowed Bob and Angie to stay in the room with me up near my head which was at the far end of the cylinder. I was able to talk to them and listen to them during the process.<br />
<br />
The scan took about 25 min., during which time Bob and Angie kept me occupied with their chatter and at my request Bob recited Jabberwocky for me, which I absolutely love. He does it was such feeling. LOL.<br />
<br />
When it was over, I asked if I could see the scan results myself. It was fascinating! I was able to see my body from mid-brain to mid-thigh, in a vertical orientation, and spinning 360°. It was very obvious where the cancer was in the breast. It was a large glowing area. He also told us that the scan had taken photos of hundreds of "slices" of my body and he let it run through that rather quickly so I could see my innards all the way from head to hips. Again, fascinating.<br />
<br />
Willie said it would take two or three days for results to be read by the radiologists and sent to my doctors. Because his job was just to take pictures, he wasn't able to give me any kind of diagnosis. That's understandable. To my untrained eye, the only area of concern that I could see was the glowing lump in my breast. But I didn't get to do close-ups of any of the areas and I only had a minute to look at everything before we had to leave<br />
<br />
So now I'll wait to hear from my doctor and make an appointment for another follow up. Maybe now we can make some decisions about how we're going to deal with this. And if you've been reading this far, you have the patience of Job, and I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-30360356457056269322012-05-08T14:33:00.000-07:002012-05-08T14:33:04.422-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofShsSFNnNk&feature=g-u-u">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofShsSFNnNk&feature=g-u-u</a><br />
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That's the link to a video that was made about an event that happened at the store last week.<br />
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The news was about the cash mob which was really good for business and was even covered by the Daily Press. Bob is doing fine but as for me, well, not so much. I will have a PET scan tomorrow so we can try to find out where the hell it is in my body. Rachel has mostly been working the store because I'm feeling kind of weak, and have been at home a lot.<br /><br />Business hasn't been that great, even with the move out to the college neighborhood. Combine that with my health problems and I think it's time for me to let it go. I know the business can be profitable if someone takes over who can work full-time, which I never could, and do some advertising, and some networking and schmoozing. Until recently, it always paid for itself, paid its bills, rent and utilities.<br /><br />So, I've put the word out locally that if anyone happens to hear of someone who is retired and likes to read and is looking for a small business to keep busy at, please let me know.<br /><br />I'm handling all of this pretty well, actually. I'm more annoyed than anything else by the fact that I have to traipse off to all these different doctors and have all these different tests and – it's just irritating how it takes over your life. And Bob's life because he has to drive me everywhere. I've known since around the beginning of February, so it's been over three months of dealing with getting approvals from the insurance company and making appointments and having tests and waiting for results etc. etc. I'll get through it okay. If it hasn't metastasized too badly yet, I'll be fine. I'm a fighter. I've been doing it all of my adult life. Not much can get me down. So don't you worry, okay?<br /></div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-18670075021979251412012-04-25T15:56:00.000-07:002012-04-25T15:56:13.102-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday we drove out to Yucca Valley where I met with an oncologist named Dr. Philip Dreisbach. The meeting didn't just go well. It was fabulous! A meeting of the minds. We got along well. He answered all my questions. He understood my concerns and alleviated many of my fears. Adjustments will have to be made because of my current medical condition and my past medical history but he's willing to work on those things with me.<br />
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I'm waiting for a return call from our local imaging facility so that I can have a PET scan done for him. I will <u>not</u> be returning to the oncologist I saw a couple of weeks ago, and I hope my insurance won't have a problem with that. I know that everyone says to get a second opinion. So I hope my choice to use that second opinion instead of the first is going to be okay.<br />
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It's a long drive to Yucca Valley. And, as a matter of fact, Dr. Phil's main office is all the way down in Rancho Mirage. That's okay with me. I need to work with someone I have confidence in and have a rapport with. Someone I can talk to easily and comfortably. This man seems to be that person. He spent a long time with us yesterday. I hadn't realized how stressed out I was about the former oncologist and how relieved I was to find Dr. Phil, didn't realize just how much until I broke down and wept on the way back to the van after my meeting with him. Tears of joy, tears of total relief. Yes, I hate doing all this medical crap. Tests and needles and appointments and all of that stuff that I really can't stand. But I have to do it, and with Bob's help and this Dr. Phil, maybe I can get through it okay.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-67811349588972653542012-04-02T18:07:00.000-07:002012-04-02T18:07:26.599-07:00This is BS!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Now she calls me and says wait, looks like the biopsy tissue <u><i><b>isn't cancerous</b></i></u>. But there might be cancer cells in the dermis so she's ordering all kinds of tests. Good grief. I've contacted my primary and have asked for a referral to someone else so I can get a second opinion. Honestly, this is why I've avoided doctors for so many years. <br />
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For two months, I've thought I had breast cancer. I don't know what to think now. It would be wonderful if they made a mistake but frack, this is bullshit.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-40507458954180926662012-04-01T19:54:00.001-07:002012-04-01T19:54:22.761-07:00Oncology<div><p>I'm so angry and frustrated with the oncologist that I can't see straight. Didn't want to answer questions, was abrupt and seemed uncaring. I won't be going to her again. I'll find someone else.</p>
<p>All I got out of it was that although all my labs and vitals are perfect, I have a very aggressive cancer and the tumor is large. She wants to start chemo and then "take it off." Mastectomy. No options, and she seemed in a hurry to leave.</p>
<p>Frack that. I don't need hand holding or pity but a little respect would have been nice. I'll be calling my primary tomorrow.</p>
<p>SOOO annoyed.</p>
</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-18400749798201368082012-03-27T18:55:00.001-07:002012-03-27T18:55:46.571-07:00Oncologist<div><p>Just a few more days. I hope I'll get some real information from her.</p>
</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-90716655796637629432012-03-20T15:22:00.000-07:002012-03-20T15:22:34.090-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Although there is much less pain, I'm reminded by its unannounced intensity that there's still a large tumor in my breast. I think I'm doing just fine for a little while and then suddenly it will feel like I've just been stabbed with a needle or sharp hot knife. It doesn't last long, just a few seconds. But it's always enough to make me gasp, and to take my breath away. Frack.<br />
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I still haven't gotten used to this new routine of being home so much of the time. I'm catching up on my reading and even reading a manuscript for a friend, a fellow writer. I'm hoping that the muse, my own use, will return soon so that I can continue to work on two books that I had started some time ago. I think it will be difficult to get my head back into that place where it was when I left off on each of them. One is a novel that I had started but with no idea where I was going with it. Not a smart move.<br />
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The other was autobiography in the form of fiction. Very revealing. I'm not sure that I ever want to finish that one, lol. I would have to change all of the names to protect all of the guilty parties involved. My own included. And because the events happened so many decades ago, I'll have to fictionalize much because I've forgotten so much and I'll need to fill in the blanks with whatever works.<br />
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So, the latest news is that the oncologist called yesterday to postpone my appointment, which would have been today. On Friday, March 30, I'll finally see her and I hope to learn some things then and maybe get this damn show on the road. It just sucks big time to not know any more than that I have cancer. As serious as cancer is, I think I haven't been hit with the full impact of this knowledge, mainly because I don't know how serious it is. How large is the tumor? How quickly will it grow? Is it possible to remove the tumor by itself? I have a dozen other questions at least.<br />
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Maybe I'm nuts, maybe I'm really wrong about this but if there's any way to deal with this without surgery, I really want to explore those possibilities. Surgery is not a good idea for me. My body is weak and I'm not sure I would survive it.<br />
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Enough for today, right? We are promised a couple of days of warm sunshine. I think I'll take advantage of that by soaking up some rays and working on my tan. Yeah, yeah, I know. Ask me if I care. LOL.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-5843494741973501342012-03-19T15:15:00.001-07:002012-03-19T15:15:17.834-07:00Another Delay<div><p>I just got a call from the oncologist's office. They've asked me to postpone my appointment until Friday, the 30th. While I'm not feeling too badly, physically, I do hate the waiting, not knowing. Am I in trouble? Does this need to be dealt with asap? Or can it wait?</p>
<p>I suppose it will have to wait. Still in limbo.</p>
</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-68522736147702418762012-03-13T14:21:00.001-07:002012-03-13T14:21:38.705-07:00Blogging from my phone<div><p>This is just a test to prove two things: that I can send posts from my phone, and that I have far too much time on my hands.</p>
</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-59821248013767720552012-03-12T14:46:00.000-07:002012-03-12T14:46:38.725-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm in limbo. Kind of like a twilight zone in an odd way. I don't get to see the oncologist until next Tuesday, the 20th. But I am very aware of this tumor in my body. I mean that both physically, because I can feel it and the pain of it but also spiritually, in an odd sense.<br />
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It's hard to describe what this feels like, not knowing what kind of cancer or what stage of cancer I'm at. Yes, I know it's breast cancer. But my research indicates that there are kinds of, and degrees of, and stages of, and I am clueless about my own. I play the waiting game. But impatiently patient.<br /><br />I'm rather surprised at the amount of pain that's involved with this. It has escalated in the last few weeks and I'm taking more over-the-counter pain medications each day. But I also injured my shoulder and my back on that side. So that's probably compounding the intensity of the pain.<br /><br />I waited too long. My fault. I should have had a mammogram a couple of years ago when I first got suspicious, but I procrastinated. Denial is more than just a river in Egypt. Stupid joke, yes, I know. Anyway, here I am, making excuses when there are no excuses. I should have had it checked out long time ago. And now, instead of the little dot on an x-ray, I have a large mass. It's grown from just a few cells to a tumor that can be seen and felt on the surface of my skin.<br /><br />So I float around in limbo. I get a little bit of work done from home but not a lot. Oh, I'm not bored by any means. I do a lot of research and reading and learning. And I'm probably getting more sleep now than I did when I was at the store. That's got to be a good thing, right? But until next Tuesday, I remain ignorant, uninformed might be a better word. In limbo.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-53026738483670309452012-03-07T14:56:00.001-08:002012-03-07T18:03:04.494-08:00<div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My insurance has approved the next step. So I've made an appointment with an oncologist for the 20th, that's a Tuesday. In the meantime, I'll continue to research and read and learn as much as I can.<br /><br />I just want to thank you all for your words of encouragement and support, your good thoughts and prayers. Those are the kinds of things that will help me get through this.<br /><br />While you are here, on the right hand side you'll see a place where you can click to follow this blog so that you will be notified when there are updates. Also, please leave comments here rather than on Facebook. Thanks so much.</div></div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31522696.post-12463740167405905992012-03-04T16:48:00.002-08:002012-03-04T16:48:46.561-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There was hardly any pain before the biopsy. Occasionally I'd feel a little twinge or a slight achiness, right there at the lump, which is easily felt on the surface of the skin. But since the biopsy, there's been a lot more pain. Not just the site of the incision, which is healing nicely now that the stitches are out. But stronger pains a few inches north of there in the armpit. And for some reason the muscles in my back around my shoulder blade. Add to that a shoulder joint that is completely devoid of cartilage, I suppose. I haven't seen an x-ray of it in a great, great many years, but the last time I saw it, it looked like something alien, jagged, and not quite normal.<br /><br />I don't really know how long it will take for the approval to see the oncologist. I hope it will come in this week and that I can make an appointment for later this week or sometime next week. I'd like to find out more details about how large the tumor is and how much it may have already spread. With a tumor this large I'm anticipating that it has more than likely spread, at least to the lymph nodes.<br /><br />In the meantime, I'm nervous about using Tylenol all day every day since I know about the adverse effects of acetaminophen on the liver if it's used too much. So, dear, sweet, Bob is at the store right now purchasing ibuprofen and naproxen for me so that I can alternate between them, and only when needed.<br /><br />Someone on Facebook just suggested spiritual cleansing and Reiki as possible alternatives in treatments. Come to think of it, one of my cousins is a Reiki healer. I think I'll give him a call.<br /><br />The journey ahead is likely to be difficult. I know I will lean heavily on the love and support of Bob and Sharon and Beth and Lois and Angie and so many others of my family and friends. I have apologized in advance to them for my future whining and complaining about the pain and weakness, and the frustration and anger I will feel. But I know that without them, this will be so much harder.</div>Louhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17461335164460554299noreply@blogger.com0